Changes

I haven’t blogged in ages, so I thought it is about time I posted something as a bit of a catch up. I could make excuses about being busy at work, Christmas and various other things preventing me blog. But I think nearer to the truth is that I met someone a while ago (they do seem to take up all your time, these men creatures don’t they?). I just told him tonight that I blogged and that I am going to do it again and mention him. So, there you go Mick (@DangerM1ck), consider yourself mentioned.

Mick has been on the fringes of my life for years, he knows my brother and as we have got to know each other more we have realised he knows a lot of people I do, our paths may have crossed numerous times (it is complicated). Funny how things happen. We chatted a little at a party months ago and then added each other on facebook. Since then we chatted online about Edinburgh Fringe (he hasn’t been yet) and my love of comedy amongst various other things and then he joined me at a Dave Gorman gig… and you can guess the rest.

So, we have been going out 3 months and have decided to move in together. More accurately, he is moving into my house. I’m well aware that some people would think that 3 months is a bit soon, but to be honest I don’t care. I don’t see him much now as he lives miles away and works 12 hour shifts, then he has his children two nights a week. We want to see each other more than once a week, we are both in our 30s so we are taking the plunge. We have nothing to lose.

I kind of glossed over the kids thing there, didn’t I? People who know me will be aware that although I quite like kids (I have loads of nieces and nephews and godchildren), I don’t have any urgent plans to spawn one. But it seems I have inherited some regular contact with a couple of them. Surprisingly, it is not as terrifying as I thought it would be. They are cool kids, one of them even likes zombies as much as I do. We are awesome. So for now I get part time kids in my life, a good practice run for if I do ever get hit by that broody feeling I reckon, and then I can still be a drunk idiot chatting on twitter the rest of the time or trek around the country to see stupid comedy shows.

But the one thing that got to me in the last few days was, as it always is, was a little thing. I have realised that this time is not like when I have lived with idiot boyfriends before… things go wrong and you cry and get drunk for a couple of weeks, brush yourself off and start again. This time is different, I have had to make some changes… well one little pathetic change. I had to take down my comedy wall! Yes my comedy wall is no more.

Ok, I know it was just a load of posters and flyers on my spare room wall, but I didn’t realise until I was taking it down how attached to it I was. There was a tear in my eye, A TEAR! I packed away the last three years of comedy fun times into a neat little box and put them under the bed. It was like saying goodbye to that part of my life. I have been single a long time and occupied myself by meeting various tweeters and seeing a shit load of comedy and then sticking reminders of it up on the wall. Now I am going to be doing “couples stuff” and maybe even “family stuff”, I am becoming a proper grown up!

Ok, it isn’t as dramatic as that. I have already booked to go to Edinburgh Fringe this year and Mick is coming with me. We have booked a couple of comedy gigs together locally too and of course I can still go on my comedy travels and meet up with tweeters and good friends. Mick can either come with me or leave me to it, he certainly would never ask me to stop, it is what I do (he does want to come and meet everyone and was jealous of my recent trips to see Uncaged Monkeys and 9 Lessons and Carols for Godless People). The beginning of a relationship is not going to mean the end of my independence, just a few tweaks and adjustments. Plus this year the Olympics mean I won’t get as many London fun times anyway as the price of everything will rocket and then it will be even more full of tourists to get in my way, not that appealing to me.

Change is a good thing… now that I have calmed down after putting all of the junk I had collected into a box, and my house looks much more tidy (ready for the destruction when the kids are here!). I am excited about Mick moving in and the comedy fun times we will have together. We even have the same taste in cheesy rock (and other good music), so I am sure we will have lots of adventures this year. So there you go, I am happy, now you know.

A Role Model?

I had a drunken chat on twitter last night which has led me to think about this particular topic, but in all honesty I think my opinion remains the same now that I am sober. I said the following on twitter “Who ever has hid my lighter please give it back. I know smoking is bad but now is not the time.” which led to friendly banter and the statement that has given birth to this blog “… but you are a role model!”. For those of you that don’t know I am a mental health nurse.

This kind of statement can get me really annoyed (although not in this case as I was chatting to a friend). Do all health care professionals have to strive to be the healthiest they can in order to achieve the role model status? Honestly, I think it is bollocks. I think health care professionals are human beings like everyone else, so they have bad habits, some drink, some smoke, some don’t exercise and some have an appalling diet. Does this mean they are failing their profession? Would you change your mind about your GPs opinion if you found out he/she smoked?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think those that work in health care should be an example of poor health or an alcoholic or drug addict (although I know some people do develop these unfortunate habits, it often means the end of their professional career). But we should be allowed to be just like everyone else. Of course I know I should quit smoking, in fact I know it is the single best thing I could do for my health. I was a trained smoking cessation advisor, I was the lead in this role at my last place of work. When I tell people this they call me a hypocrite, I guess in a way I am. But I am very honest with the service users (in mental health we are not supposed to use the word patient), I applaud them at being ready to take up the challenge of quitting smoking, and if they are successful brilliant, unfortunately I have failed at this task several times. It is after all an addiction, just because I am a nurse and well informed about the dangers and how to go about quitting does not make me magic or have superpowers, I still have the cravings and habit to get rid of and it isn’t easy. The service users I have discussed this with respect my honesty and that I can fail at something while supporting them to achieve it, I understand how hard it can be. The other part to smoking cessation within mental health is that it can be more complicated than just stopping, it can affect sleep, mood, mental state and absorption of some medications, so having mental health staff trained to support service users through the process is much more than just helping them beat the cravings.

When I applied to be trained there was a debate within the trust, the difficulty was that a lot of mental health staff smoked, so by not allowing any of them to train we would be very limited in who could offer the support to the service users on the wards. I remember a conversation with someone very senior to me and she said “Fat people run obesity clinics.”, she is right. I’m sure the nurses that work on the wards that have the detox service users still go home at the weekend and have a nice glass of wine or three (I would be worried if they went home and had heroin though),

The key to providing good health care in my opinion is having the knowledge and skills to provide information and support. But as much as I know I should have a slightly lower BMI, exercise more and although I know my diet is quite healthy most of the time, the huge bags of crisps are a bit wrong; this does not mean I cannot advise others aim to do all of these things. I am honest when I teach at my healthy living group, I tell them I can’t give up the crisps and cheese, they are my bad habits. But I am also realistic in my expectations of them. I don’t expect the service users I see to instantly meet all of the NHS targets like 5 A Day (fruit/Vegetables) or five 30 minute sessions of moderate intensity exercise a week, as these are ideals. They are targets. So I encourage service users to make those small changes that will hopefully lead to the bigger ones and eventually improve their health. To walk for 10 minutes, to switch to wholegrain bread, to cut down on the cigarettes and alcohol. I can do all this with a clean conscience because this is what I do. I don’t expect to be perfect, that saintly “role model”. I signed up to be a mental health nurse because I want to help people, not because I am better than anyone else, so I can show them how it is done. In the last few years I have changed my diet dramatically and have fit exercise into my daily routine, I have had many failed attempts at quitting smoking, but I have taken small steps and I have cut down. So I am not a hypocrite just because I smoke and I like a drink as I never set out to be the perfect role model for anyone. My bad habits do not affect my ability to do my job. I provide a service and that is often to educate and support people, just because I have the knowledge it does not mean I have the willpower to use it. We are all only human.

Thanks for reading, feel free to comment, disagree or wish you had the last couple of minutes of your life back.

Edinburgh Fringe 2011–Thoughts

 

I’d better point out from the start that this will not be a review of all the shows I saw (there were 40 I think, I may list them at the bottom). I did plan to write a journal like I did last year, so that I could keep a record of my thoughts and the shows, this year I managed two days. After that it felt like a chore and that I was missing out on some fun times, so I decided to not bother and do it this way instead. So what I am saying is that this blog is really for me to reflect on the whole experience of my 9 days in Edinburgh.

There will inevitably be some moaning in this, but I need to point out from the off that I had a really great time, I just found some things really irritated me too. It doesn’t help that I am used to living alone and am one of those people who likes to do certain things certain ways, I realise this is my problem, so I am aware that it is often my own self imposed rules that leads to such frustration but I don’t think that the mixture of little sleep and lots of booze helped me to cope with these (mostly) minor grumbles. But I’ll get to those later.

People

First things first, for me the best part of the fringe after the actual shows is the people. I love that having been up here for the last two years and having met so many people through twitter I now use this time to see people who I consider to be friends. I do also enjoy meeting more tweeters for the first time, although one or two can be a little odd (I’ll get to that later). Yet at the same time I did find that Edinburgh can be a bit of a lonely place, even though you are constantly surrounded by people. I think it is because I was there alone, although staying with and meeting many friends, there was no one person who saw everything I did, someone to get excited with and chat in detail about our shared experience (this may be that I’ve been single too long). Those moments were fleeting as I was busy meeting up with some great people at shows and bars all week. I think I do sympathise with the comedians who are in Edinburgh all month, I see why they do meet up with fans/friends in bars so much, it is for the company (and booze of course).

*WARNING – The next two paragraphs are grumpy, skip them if you want the happy version of my fringe experience.

I did get to say hello to a few comedians over a cup of tea or a pint or two, which was lovely and something I always see as an added bonus having seen them perform. I did not spend my week in Edinburgh stalking acts to drink with. It sounds harsh, and I know some acts love the attention and encourage it, which is fine but it is not for me. I’ll send a message or say hello after a show (usually as arranged before hand as I am quite shy sometimes) and perhaps suggest a drink, if they say no or don’t respond then leave it. I do worry that some people forget that the comedians are not there to entertain the audiences ALL THE TIME. They are allowed to switch off and have a life, this may or may not include spending time with fans/friends (I’ll get to that definition in a minute). I saw before I left for the fringe that Al Murray had tweeted that he had been in the Pleasance Courtyard having a beer and chatting with a friend when a fan grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around to talk to him. How fucking rude! But sadly not rare. I think I go to the other end of the spectrum, I have at times been told off for not saying hello as I hide in the corner waiting for an opportune moment to interrupt. It is why I didn’t say hello to Michael Legge for ages (that and I thought he might be a bit scary… he isn’t). It isn’t the acts who want to hang out with fans that annoy me, that’s fine, if it floats your boat, but it is the people who think they have a right to follow and actively hunt comedians down and try to insert themselves into their lives when it is not wanted, and often down right creepy.

This brings me to my early footnote of the definition of fan/friend. Yes, lines do sometimes get blurred over time but some people need to realise that just because you’ve said hello to a comedian/act a couple of times after a show or chatted on twitter, it does not make you “friends”, or allow you the rights that friends have to invade privacy. I’m not saying that over time such contacts can’t grow into friendship, it is possible. But it is also likely that you will remain a long time fan; someone who an act appreciates for their dedication and help with promotion, a friendly face at difficult gig, a giver of weird and sometimes creepy gifts, this interaction is needed and often welcomed but there are boundaries. What worries me is that some people don’t seem to realise this. The way I think of it is if something happened and I needed someone to turn to, who would it be? For example, I got mugged in Edinburgh and was staying alone, who would I ring for help? Would it be the comedian I had beers with that afternoon? Probably not, as lovely as they can be, they already have enough troubles to deal with during the fringe, I’d ring one of the lovely tweeters I have got to know through meeting at gigs and then spending actual time together, emailing, arranging to go to things together… a proper friend (or of course a friend from home if they were up). I’m not saying a comedian wouldn’t help, they might but it is a line I don’t think I’d be comfortable crossing, think of it from their point of view, if by some freak coincidence 100 of their fans all had problems during the fringe they would go insane. There are exceptions to the rules of course and yes I know people do become friends with comedians, but I think it is more likely to happen if you show people respect for their personal boundaries, don’t expect it to happen and see it as an added bonus that not only do you appreciate their work but they like you as a person (after some time). Rant over.

I did meet some tweeters who, even thinking about it now on my way home on a train, I am smiling at the thought of them. It is sometimes a bit nerve wrecking wondering if the tweeter matches my expectations/idea f them from our online conversations. This year, a couple of them exceeded such expectations and one disappointed me (not in a particularly bad way, just very bad manners). I’m not naming names, they know who they are and we know we will see each other again for more fun times.

Food

Last year during the fringe I had a bit of a broken moment through lack of sleep, decent food and lots of booze. I had decided to try to be more sensible this year, I’d planned my accommodation so that I had some privacy and hopefully some sleep, my schedule was not as busy (40 shows in 9 days instead of 60 in 14), I only booked 3 late night shows and had a plan to eat well. To be honest I didn’t do bad at all. I averaged about 6 hours of sleep a night, I didn’t have any hangovers as I kept my drinking under check and I ate VERY well.

I must recommend my favourite places to eat firstly Mums (they have no apostrophe in the restaurant name and it is killing me just typing it, they do a slanty s but it is not the same). This place was recommended on twitter by Lizzie Roper and I went twice, their bangers and mash was awesome (5 types of sausage to choose from, daily specials, 14 types of mash and three types of gravy) and while there I saw a pie and had to return to try one… wow, just go. Secondly, a favourite from last year, Elephants and Bagels, the place is quirky and the food is great what more could you ask for. I also recommend the Big Daddy Nacho bowl in the Gilded Balloon, 4 of us polished it off without much trouble but with less people it would be difficult (there is a Big Momma Nacho bowl for vegetarians). I also had one final visit to Tempting Tattie which has now sadly closed. I often had a hog roast sandwich from Oink for breakfast (well it was usually after lunchtime when I actually got around to getting food).

Pubs

I had more free time this year so went to some bars with friends, so here are a few I like. Banshee Labyrinth on Niddry Street, it is a free fringe venue and a rock pub, supposedly haunted… blah blah blah. But I like the building, even if it is a little warm sometimes, it is open until 5am during the fringe. Bannerman’s on Cowgate, is just around the corner and again, it is a free fringe venue and rock bar, but a great place to hang out. Halfway House on Fleshmarket is Edinburgh’s smallest pub, you have to go there, but be warned the ladies toilet is smaller than an aeroplane one.

One of my friends is a bit of a beer buff, so we had to visit the new Brew Dog pub on Cowgate, it is locally brewed but they also sell numerous other speciality beers as well as their famous Sink the Bismark at 41%. I would have liked to try a fruity ale, but not at £10 a pint. It is a great bar if you are into that type of thing (and you can buy shares while there).

Do’s and Don’ts

In no particular order, here are my tips for Edfringe (and to remind me of some of them for next year).

• DON’T – Walk slowly in the middle of the pavement on your own, or especially in groups! If you have to walk slowly, walk to the side so that people in a rush can get past you, and don’t block the pavement in a big group, go single file on s narrow street.
• DO – Take an umbrella, poncho, coat or rain hat. Edinburgh is a bit of a twat for looking gloriously sunny one minute and then like the storm at the end of the world the next. You may look a bit silly in a poncho but the disposable ones I had at the bottom of my bag came in handy.
• DON’T – Make noise during a show. Just because you don’t get it, can’t decide what to have for tea or are a general cunt, I paid to see the show, so shut the fuck up. This also counts for fiddling with sweet wrappers, rummaging in your bag, texting (with tones on) and the worst offender tapping. Just stop or leave.
• DO – Queue properly. There is an etiquette to this and I am aware there is some debate on the subject, so here is my opinion. A popular/busy show may start queuing half an hour or more before the beginning of the show, if you want good seats get there early. Saving a seat/place in the queue for one, maybe two friends is fine, we all run late and want to sit with people we know. Do not expect to turn up at the last minute and jump to the front of the queue with loads of friends, it is twatty and rude. Saving seats depends on the venue, I personally don’t think it is on to save the front row for all of your friends if other people queued early for good seats, if no one wants the front row then fine. You do sometimes have to choose between queuing early for good seats or sitting with friends.
• DON’T – Interrupt. There is something about Edinburgh fringe where people forget their manners. If you see someone you know, wave or catch their attention, but then wait until they have finished talking to who they are already talking to, hover nearby. Be polite to the other person already chatting. If you can’t wait, then gesture that you have to go and do so.
• DO – Book tickets early, you never know who is going to be popular and sell out before you get around to getting a ticket. Of course some big names always sell out, so I tend to buy those as soon as they go on sale. However, it is worth noting that depending on the venue sometimes additional tickets are released 2 hours to 20 minutes prior to the show, this is because most shows have press tickets and if they are not allocated they are put back on sale. Some venues may keep these for venue pass holders to use, but it is worth asking just in case.

Random Moments

Finally, I’ll finish with some random moments that made my fringe (or were just random).

• Apparently I can be a bit cuddly when I sleep as Sarah found out (@GooseCG), but I bet she misses it now.
• I am not scary to say hello to unless it is done rudely, then I will ignore you. But I did almost laugh in a lads face when he said “You are nwoolhouseuk “King of the Podophiles!”, I did point out I am a girl which makes me Queen. The podcast stuff does sometimes seem weird, but then I have made some great friends through it.
• Camera Obscura is awesome! It is near the castle entrance. Take a camera and a friend and have fun. Lots of optical illusions and lots of stairs (97 I think). It is only a tenner and takes about an hour and a half to go around.
• Drunk comedians on stage are not always great but sometimes it makes for awesome moments. This is the risk and fun of late shows.
• Do The Right Thing Podcast was really good, go and watch the recordings next month at The Phoenix on Cavendish Square in London and download them all when they are released.
• And I’ll finish with the list of everything I saw, ask me about them if you want any more information. Thom Tuck, Dead Cat Bounce, Do The Right Thing (podcast recording), Pointless Anger Righteous Ire 2 (Robin Ince and Michael Legge), Stewart Lee, David O’Doherty, Anyone For Tennis, Do The Right Thing (another episode), Joanna Neary, Colin Hoult, David Reed, Carey Marx, Karaoke Circus, Andrew Lawrence, James Acaster, Karaoke Circus (again), Jon Richardson, Nick Helm, Jigsaw (Thomas Craine, Nat Luurtsema and Dan Antopolski), Zoe Lyons, Frisky and Mannish, Karaoke Circus (again), Tiernan Douieb, The Adventurer’s Club (Tiernan Douieb and Sir Tim Fitzhigham), Ellis James, Rich Hall, Taskmaster 2, Tara Flynn, Humphrey Ker, Richard Herring, Mark Olver, Sammy J and Randy, Rich Fulcher, Horne Section, Jason Cook, Chris Cox, Pete Firman, Barry & Stuart – Show, Barry & Stuart – Tell.

Thanks for reading if you did, it was very long. Feel free to comment, ask questions or not.

Edinburgh Fringe 2011 – #Edinburghpicks

I have said it before, but it is worth pointing out again, that I am no reviewer of comedy. But I am excited to be going to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival again this year and thought I’d share some of my excitement. This will not be an inclusive list of who I am seeing (I plan to see 40-50 shows) but a few of the shows I am most looking forward to and why. I have decided to see some new (to me) acts this year, so if you have any comments/reviews of them do let me know.

(There are hyperlinks to their edfringe.com page if you click on their names if highlighted).

Firstly it has to be one of my favourite events… (the rest are not necessarily in order of preference)

Karaoke Circus

Even if you are not a fan of karaoke (I am not usually), I can guarantee that this is a fun night. And this year there are three, 22nd – 24th August. For those who don’t know karaoke circus is obviously a karaoke night, but with a difference. For a start there is a live band. Martin White, Danielle Ward, Foz Foster and David Reed will accompany comedians and audience members as they sing their hearts out. The performances will be judged by Dan Tetsell and The Baron. Everything is taken with a pinch of salt, the songs can be funny, tragic or brilliant but the atmosphere is what does for me on this night. No matter how well/wrong the performances go the audience is 100% behind the person on stage. I have in the past at London/Edinburgh KC seen Robin Ince, Michael Legge, Jim Bob, Tim Vine, Josie Long, The Penny Dreadfuls, Pappys, Al Murray, Andrew Collins just to name a few. I know Chris Addison has performed and I hope to see him do so this year. It is silly fun, there is beer and a cabaret style atmosphere. Certainly a late show I recommend to anyone lucky enough to be at the fringe for those dates (it starts at 1am by the way). Tickets are only available directly from the Pleasance website here.

Dead Cat Bounce

I have not seen this act before. I am planning to see them based purely on their fringe brochure description and that a friend has said I will enjoy them as much as I hope I will. COMEDY ROCK! The Independent said “Spinal Tap-esque Brilliance”, what more could you want? They are on at 10.30pm at the Pleasance Courtyard.

Jigsaw

What do you get if you put three great comedians I have seen before together in one room doing “smart, funny sketches” – jigsaw! This show has a trio of delight with the fabulous Dan Antopolski, Tom Craine AND Nat Luurtsema. Talk about value for money! They are on at 5.45pm at Pleasance Courtyard.

Joanna Neary

Having only seen Joanna Neary do short sets at Latitude and in London I was thrilled to find out that she is doing Edinburgh Fringe this year. This is a lady who knows how to do character comedy. I have seen Pans Person and her Sex Education Teacher, I can’t say anymore without spoiling it (she also stars in Ideal on BBC 3). Just trust me and go and see her at The Stand Comedy Club V at 3.50pm.

Chris Cox

The mind reader who can’t read minds. I saw his show Mind Over Patter and was frustratingly but happily confused and left wondering how he did that. Check him out on youtube or on his website here. Fatal Distraction promises to be mind blowing fun, on at Pleasance Dome at 7.10pm.

Barry and Stuart

While on the subject of magic/illusionists/mentalists, I have to point out that Barry and Stuart have not one, but two shows this year at the fringe. Entitled Show and Tell, the first (The Show) will be a great and usually gory magic show at 10.15pm at Udderbelly Pasture. The second show (The Tell) follows at midnight where they reveal al the secrets behind the show. Finally we will get some answers! (Note there is a discount if you book the show and the tell, look on The show dates for details).

Tara Flynn

Is a very talented lady and is truly spoiling us this year, bringing us her show Big Noise to the Voodoo Rooms at 5.05pm for FREE! See her funny, twisted and bizarre songs and then go and buy the album from iTunes. Do it!

Colin Hoult

A hilarious character comedian who I saw on a whim last year having seen him in Gutted the musical. I was so glad I did. He must be the next big thing, His characters are diverse and the whole show draws you in a flies by (well it did last year). I can’t wait to see more. On at 7.05pm at Pleasance Courtyard.

Pointless Anger, Righteous Ire 2: Back in the Habit

This show was so good that I went twice last year, and it is different every time. See two forty something year old men rant about what is wrong with the world today and then let them decide if your anger is pointless or righteous. Lots of fun and lots of shouting. Don’t let them try to put you off seeing this show. On at The Stand V at 2.35pm (I have booked this one already, it sold out last year).

I was disappointed this year that I wouldn’t get to see either The Penny Dreadfuls or Pappys do their sketch shows, however all is not lost. All three Penny Dreadfuls are doing solo shows which I plan to see with very high hopes. Thom Tuck Goes Straight to DVD, David Reed Shamblehouse and Humphrey Ker is Dymock Watson – Nazi smasher. I am also thankful that Matthew Crosby is bringing us Adventureparty.

I plan to follow a few recommendations from friends this year as well as seeing many of my favourite acts. Some of those new to me are Carey Marx, Nick Helm (although I’ve seen a short set), Mark Olver and Tony Law (If I manage to get up that early, it starts at midday). Plus a few more.

Oh and make sure you check out Skeptics on the Fringe for some great free events including Devil’s Advocate the panel game show and special events such a ghost walks and space talks (see their FB page for more information).

It is going to be a busy few days.

Love online?

I’ve just watched Catfish, which if you didn’t see it was a documentary about a man who thought he’d fell in love with a woman over facebook and found something else entirely (I won’t spoil it in case you want to watch it). Anyway it got me thinking about finding love on the internet, so I thought it was time for a bit of a ramble.

I love chatting to people online and of course I would really like to fall in love with a wonderful man, but can these two things really happen together for me? I think there are very obvious positives and negatives to looking for love online.

So, let’s get the obvious stuff out of the way, you have to BE CAREFUL! I’d like to think that nowadays people have a bit of common sense and don’t give out too many personal details too soon and if they do arrange to meet, they do so in a public place and people know where they are and who they are meeting. There are unfortunately some weirdos out there, and I certainly wouldn’t want them turning up at my door unannounced.

But there are benefits to meeting people virtually… in person I am initially shy (depending if the alcohol is flowing). The detachment of chatting to someone on twitter, facebook or even by email means I can consider my reply without the pressure of social graces and the need for such speed. But both virtually and in person, once I get chatting I don’t really shut up. This means I tend to get on with other people who also like to talk a lot. In my opinion, however or where ever you chat with someone, the more you do so the closer you can get. Of course if chat remains superficial then so does the relationship, but close friends and even more can come from getting to know someone online.

There is one problems with getting to know someone in this way, they may be lying about everything, saying what they think you want to hear. They may not look like you think they do. I certainly pick a more flattering photo as my profile picture online than my current tied back hair and no make-up look. And in this there is an element of risk. It is easy to begin to emotionally invest in a friendship or relationship online to find that either the other person did not have the same intentions or that it was all a load of bull… a game to them. I do prefer to be less pessimistic and hope that most people are generally honest when the chat gets more personal. It is certainly what I have found so far. Don’t get me wrong, I know some people have a very different online persona or even a character, but in the private tweets and messages, most people I have chatted to have been lovely. I have made loads of new friends in the last couple of years, and have spent time with many of them in person. Of course I have met one or two people who appeared to different or perhaps really shy in person that chatting so freely in reality was difficult. Sometimes online friends should remain just that.

So, in my usual rambling way… I think perhaps you can get close to someone online, but the proof is when you actually meet face to face. You need to find out if beyond initial nerves you really get on with someone, let alone if you could love them. It is all to easy to get carried away with the idea of someone from virtual contact, but remember you tend to only get the good stuff online. We all have bad habits and flaws. I do like the idea of having got past the first date anxiety of not knowing anything about someone. I’d hope if I did end up dating someone I met online at least we’d know what to talk about in person, surely that would be easier?

The main benefit to “meeting” people online whether for love or friendship for me is that you do get to meet a variety of like-minded people from all over the world. Surely your chances of finding love or great friendships are increased by that alone? I can’t say I’ve met that many people in my local area who have similar interests to me (with some exceptions of course, including at Skeptics in the Pub). The “all over the world” part can be an issue if you are looking for love, but I’m sure rarely it does happen and is overcome.

I guess my conclusion is that I’d hope I could find love online, but even I would have to remember to not get carried away with the initial excitement of getting along on line, reality does not always measure up. One day, I hope it does.

(I really hope this doesn’t sound like I am actively hunting for love online? I’m just saying it is possible to find it, and I’m single so I’m keeping it open as an option of where I might meet someone. I could just as easily meet the man of my dreams in the supermarket tomorrow, you never know).

Camden Comedy Crawl Weekend

I am not a reviewer in any way, but I wanted to write something about this weekend more as a way for me to remember it. I managed to not take a single photo. So here is the run down and my thoughts on my weekend in London at the Comedy Crawl.

I stayed with a lovely friend Rob for the weekend, we’d arranged that I should come down in the afternoon as we couldn’t get our wristbands until 5pm. However, on the journey down there were one or two confusing tweets from comedians I follow saying they would be on in the afternoon for comedy crawl. This must just be a part of Camden crawl? I thought, comedy crawl ticket holders can’t see they daytime events can they? The confusion began early, and got worse later on.

Let’s get the rant out of the way first, then the happy bits to finish…

Many people had asked the Comedy Crawl organisers for line ups and times for each venue so that we could plan what we could see, frustratingly we were not given one until we collected our wristband on they day. A couple of other websites released timetables but we were unsure of their accuracy. I do think many regular comedy fans would given the Comedy Crawl a miss because of this, and I don’t blame them. I don’t get much chance to see many of the acts billed so happily saw a mix, but for Londoners who can see many of the acts any day of the week, they’d need to be able to timetable to see who they wanted to and make it worth the £35 entrance fee. Here’s where it got even more annoying… we collected our “Official Programme” and immediately noticed problems. It was very inaccurate. So we asked at a venue to find out that the information on the “Official Programme” was from months ago, so of course everything had changed since then. With no update from the Comedy Crawl on their website and a programme not worth the paper it was printed on we were very annoyed and tried to plan who to see with very limited and inaccurate information. Oh, then we got more annoyed when one of the promoters told us that they expected comedy crawl ticket holders to be able to see the daytime comedy which had been on since 2pm… we missed hours of comedy! (Don’t worry it does get better). The last frustrating part of the whole event was some of the venues and how they were managed. Running alongside the Camden Crawl there were many people there for the music and the booze. If the organisers had an ounce of sense they would have realised that letting drunk music fans into venues where there was comedy on was not a great idea. Particularly in the Knock2bag venue The Wheelbarrow you could barely hear the acts even when sat 3 feet away thanks to the people chatting at the bar. The security staff seemed to have different rules in each venue, at Belushi’s for instance where Fat Tuesday were the hosts the security were great and didn’t let really  what they drunk people in and kept it a comedy only venue, which made for a great atmosphere. It just all seemed… unplanned, like they hadn’t even thought it through. I really felt sorry for the promoters and acts who were dealt such a difficult hand and did the best they could with what they had.

The good bit..

Despite all of the problems we did manage to see some acts on the first night, and by the second day we knew we could see the daytime acts and each venue put their line up on the venue doors, so we were able to plan. I was not impressed with Comedy Crawl tweeting that we could see daytime acts with the hashtag #Winning, WTF? How is it winning when most of the people attending don’t even know they can come 5 hours early unless they follow the twitter feed? They still didn’t update the website or post up to date programmes anywhere.

So here’s who I saw (I am not reviewing the acts but will put the odd comment to remind myself who I want to see again).

Saturday

Knock2bag @The Wheelbarrow

William Andrews - an act I hadn’t seen before but will definitely see again, fun use of an MP3 player.

Colin Hoult – Great to see the Andy Parker character again although I was hoping to see some new material, it was perfectly understandable why he didn’t try it in such a noisy and difficult room.

Arnab Chanda – Self depricating comedy can be funny, he just wasn’t for me. Although it was a difficult room, I don’t really appreciate being given permission to laugh by the act. Did not go down well.

Cardinal Burns – Sketch comedy, not mind blowing for me but enjoyable.

Delete The Banjax – Struggled being off microphone with all of the noise in the room. You could see they were not that comfortable. But still I did enjoy the songs and would see them again.

By this time the noise was unbearable and we decided to try another venue, so off to

Really Lovely Comedy @Camden Head

This was a dedicated room upstairs for the gig, which meant an audience that actually listened and watched the acts. It was a very hot room at times, but that just reminded me of Edinburgh fringe. The MCs coped well with people moving in and out of the room between acts, it just could have done with being double the size as often friends could not get in as it was too busy.

William Andrews – We didn’t know he was also doing this venue, but I was glad I saw him again so soon as the different venue made a big difference. He took the act a lot further, appeared more relaxed particularly thanks to his hands free invention.

Luke Benson – Didn’t go down very well.

Get Comedy @ Lock 17

This venue was packed and had the noisy people at the bar problem and seemed to have a higher ratio of drunk twats in it. I did not enjoy being pushed and leaned on.

Tiffany Stevenson – Was as always really good, a great solid set and coped well with the noisy room. I have now seen the leopard print trousers… I wish I hadn’t.

I couldn’t cope with the drunk arguments going on around me so decided to leave and miss Matt Kirshen and Abandoman which was a shame. We even struggled to get out of the building it was so busy, luckily one of the security staff let us sneak out the back way.

Fat Tuesday @Belushi’s

Hal Cruttenden – We arrived just in time to catch most of his set and I was glad I did. What was more amazing was being in a venue where the audience were paying attention.

I said hello to a rather drunk Tiernan Douieb and then had a few more drinks and rants with Neal, Andy, Anna, Kerri and Rob.

Sunday

We arrived early in the afternoon to try and get some line ups and have brunch. This plan worked well, we managed to find out enough information (with no help from Comedy Crawl organisers) to be able to have a list of comedians we might actually get to see. I do love a good plan and chips for breakfast.

Fat Tuesday and Old Rope @Belushi’s

Not that we knew what was on every where else, but that line up in this venue was brilliant, so we parked our arses and settle in for the afternoon. With Tiernan Douieb the audience was well looked after allowing time for drinks and comfort break while he kept things moving and the rest of the room entertained.

Marek Larwood – The first time I had seen him live and a brilliant character, very funny and energetic with loads of crowd interaction. This is one of those acts I’d love to see more of.

Bethany Black – A Mancunian goth lesbian… I think that was how she described herself. She was very dark and went to those places you are not sure she should for an afternoon set, but I’m very glad she did.

Sir Tim Fitzhigham – I’d seen him at Fullmooners but was very happy to see more of his set and hear more of his tales of adventures in bathtubs.

Sarah Kendall – An Australian lady, a fun set a bit clumsy but funny.

Thom Tuck – Having only seen Thom as part of The Penny Dreadfuls I was excited to see some of his Straight to DVD #STDVD set. I will be seeing the full Edinburgh show, a must see.

Danielle Ward – Another act that I’d only seen as part of something else. She was dark and filthy as I’d expected even if a little distracted by Shappi Khorsandi’s child making a noise at the back of the room, “Does that child know what wanking into a bin means?”. Very funny.

Really Lovely Comedy @Camden Head

We just caught a bit of Sir Tim as we arrived, although this room had a few too many drunk people to appreciate his stories.

Frisky and Mannish – I’d seen them do a short set at 9 lessons and Carols for godless people and was thrilled to see more. I laughed so hard I nearly peed. I have to see more of this.

London Comedy Improv @ Theatro Technis

I had planned to see a few more acts at other venues, but having crammed so much into the afternoon I decided to devote the evening to London Comedy Improv. I’ve seen loads of positive feedback on twitter but had never made it down to one of their regular Wednesday night slots at The Phoenix.

The group was Michael Legge, Tara Flynn, Rufus Hound, Brendan Dempsey, John Voce, a brief visit from Tiernan Douieb and Kirsty Newton on keyboard.

I’m so glad I stayed, it may be difficult to describe but the games and the mix of people worked perfectly to keep me laughing all evening. The people who wandered in late when one of the sets had started were obviously confused not knowing the rules of the game being played at that time, with some people who didn’t stay to figure out what they had missed. Idiots!

The centipede expert and Michael shouting at John until he died were particular highlights. Brilliant, go and see them, they do it every month!

 

We finished the night with drinks, chats and giggles in a couple of bars, much happier to have had a day of laughter and much less of the stress of Saturday. Overall a great weekend spent with lovely friends and meeting more people. I’m already planning my next London trip.

Getting Some Perspective

I’m not really sure what the point of this blog entry is, but I haven’t written one in a while and I seem to have done a lot of thinking in the last week or so. Usually writing my stream of thoughts out helps me to consolidate them. So here goes…

The Moaning Bit.

I had a bit of a bad weekend last week, when a number of things went wrong. I won’t list them all here in detail but I will say the accumulation of it all hit me pretty hard. A blossoming relationship didn’t turn out how I wanted it too and it seemed that everyone I knew was either seriously ill or facing tragedy. It was a shame because I’d had a fantastic couple of days in London meeting @PharmacistScott who was over from Canada and really relaxed following the start of my new job. My internet speed being rubbish did not help (it still isn’t fixed) as I can usually distract myself online. So I took myself off twitter for a bit and wallowed in self pity (it was a bit messy).

The More Cheerful Bit.

Thankfully I have some great friends and some of them people I have met through twitter who are very supportive and let me whinge privately and get it all out of my system. I still wasn’t feeling very sociable by the beginning of the week so remained a bit quiet and decided not to attend the Skeptics in The Pub debate on Monday night. But I am extremely grateful for the tweets, DMs and texts I received. You lot are ace. Thanks.

Getting Some Perspective.

As is often the case following a stressful time, I did a lot of thinking this week and got a bit of perspective. In the wallowing phase I doubted myself a lot (as is natural) and it didn’t help that my new job is rather stressful right now. I wondered if I had done the right thing taking on so much work in this new job, can I really do it? Then if the relationship ended because of me, my personality, my nerdiness or maybe I was too keen? I then felt incredibly guilty for even thinking all of that and feeling sorry for myself when other people I knew had faced illness and tragedy.

Finally I gave myself a kick up the arse and decided enough was enough. As I have mentioned in a previous blog, I am trying to be more honest. This should include being more honest with myself. So here is what I decided.

I like me, I like my nerdiness. I should not feel embarrassed about my interests, they are a part of who I am. Not everyone will share them but they don’t have too.  And I think I am overall a pretty nice person. In fact a couple of weeks ago I told the man I was seeing that I am awesome (and a little vain), there was more to it than that but at the time just telling him I had respect for myself seemed to work. I don’t see why I shouldn’t think that. I like who I am am, at least some people do like me for it. I cannot start to doubt me for being me. I can change small aspects that I don’t like so much like being more honest and assertive (for the most part that is working rather well, saying what you think tends to get you answers quickly, even if they are not always the ones you wanted to hear). I may have been keen with the bloke I was seeing, but so what? If he liked me enough he would have been that way too. The beginning of a relationship should not be a battle, it should be easy and exciting.

I am good at my job, the stress is mostly not due to my skills but the volume of work I have to do, the new role I have to learn and the need to set up boundaries within the team. These are things that will come with time, so work will get better… eventually.

An finally, shit things happen to people. All I can do is be a good friend and support them as they do me in times of crisis. I did need to remind myself that things are not always that bad. Life is full of ups and downs. And I was right. A week later things are much better. I am less worried about the people I had concerns for. I am ready to face a new week of work, to rise to the challenge. I am single again, but perhaps we weren’t right for each other. One day I will meet someone special, so until then I need to keep living life and having fun (of course that will involve a great deal of comedy, tweet ups and nerdiness).

Thanks.

I don’t usually write such personal drivel, but I have found I do like the process. It does help me to think more clearly. I’m not sure how appropriate it is to post it publicly. I have discussed this with fellow bloggers and we all seem to doubt whether our thoughts are of interest to anyone. I have decided I don’t really mind who reads it or what they think of it. Some of my friends may be glad to hear thinks are ok now and in the past I enjoyed getting feedback and finding that people do/do not feel/think the same way as I do.

So, thanks for reading. Sorry if it was dull to you. If you have any feedback please post a comment/tweet me/DM me, or don’t.

Is honesty the best policy?

I haven’t rambled for a while, so here we go.

Of course I am aware that the above question is too vague and the obvious answer is no. There are times when we all need our honesty filter on, to not hurt people’s feelings or cause offense.

As part of my job I have to tell white lies in order to protect my patients, it is part of creating unconditional positive regard.

However, the honesty I am thinking about is in general day to day life. I have found myself pushing such boundaries, forcing myself to be more honest. It is quite refreshing. Some examples may help you to understand what I mean…

- When asked if I want to go on a particular night out, I may usually give some excuse of not having enough money or anything nice to wear. When in fact I just might not fancy a night with that group of people. I have honestly told my close friends that I’d love to spend time with them but don’t fancy an awkward night with some people I don’t get on with so well. Or on another occasion I have just said, “no I fancy a weekend in my PJs, I’m tired and need to relax.” Why should I lie? My close friends know me and if I explain I don’t need to continue the lie and dig myself in any deeper. Have you ever said you had no money and then let slip you bought something nice? Lying can upset friends, me being lazy for a weekend may disappoint but it does not offend.

- I have been asked to take on new roles and do tasks which are unfamiliar to me. I have in the past, as I’m sure many people have said “Yeah, of course I’ll do that” and then panicked when I have realised I don’t have a clue what to do and got stressed. Recently I have bluntly said “Yes I will do the work, but someone needs to teach me what to do and help me if I get stuck”. Much more simple. I have found that I have been much more respected for it by senior colleagues and they have even put protocols in place so that I can turn to people for help and support.

- And finally the more scary one is being more honest about feelings. I’m not sure I am that good at this one but I am trying. It is often not that easy though, even telling someone you are annoyed with them can be tricky when they may not like the news. But I have decided it must be done, if things go unsaid they have a tendency to fester. But also there is the nice side of such things, telling someone you a grateful for their friendship or time, or that you like/love them can often go unsaid (By the way, I really disagree with people saying they love EVERYONE, that is a lie or it is not love. But that may be another blog). The act can be very scary and it can go wrong if such feelings are unrequited, but is it worth the risk? It has to be sometimes.

So I am starting small, I am going to try and be a more honest person. If I think someone is wearing something nice, I am going to tell them. I am going to tell a colleague if I think they have done a good job. And yes I will tell people when they have pissed me off, I can do it politely. I could even do it by text/email if I am not feeling that brave. I will say if I am struggling at work, or bored/lonely at home (I have been doing this one, the results are great so far, I have been given help and company, who’d have thought?). Being honest in the right place can make others feel happy too, admitting you have been shy/glad to meet someone in person can help them to admit the same.

Any thoughts on honesty? Have you tried being more honest lately?

Effing Fees

I had a bit of a grumble on twitter yesterday as I had received my letter from the Nursing and Midwifery Council (NMC) asking for my annual fee of £76 to remain on the live register of nurses. I got lots of interesting discussion from some people on twitter about professional fees.

I understand the definite need professional regulation, it is in the interests of the public and offers protection and a framework in which to work. But there are a couple of things that really annoy me about professional fees…

I know the cost of everything has gone up, but fees have done so ridiculously. My initial registration was about £75 for the first 3 years (I think), but during that time the NMC made it an annual fee which has over the last 7 years that I have been qualified it has crept up to that amount every year. Surely the NMC costs haven’t risen that much?

The point I really want to discuss is, should we pay annual professional fees? Should any professionals? I know many professions do, doctors, vets, teachers, solicitors, I’m sure there are many more. It is not the regulation I object to, but I do think that those people on a fixed salary which is decided by the government (and it not particularly great) shouldn’t have to pay a fee to continue to do the job they do for the public sector.

The private sector is a different matter. Of course it is only my opinion, but in the private sector where salaries can be much better and the goals are more related to profit, then they should pay fees for the protection of government run bodies to regulate their work. There is a point in the public sector where I think this principle applies, the point at which they are not stuck on a national pay scale. For example if a GP is a partner in a practice, or a vet owns their own, they have the potential to make/invest money, the point at which their role becomes potentially more driven by money they should pay for the protection of such organisations.

I don’t think it is about the actual money, or the amount, but rather the principle of it. You don’t have to pay a fee every year to carry on doing your job in a supermarket or an office, why should you to look after/help/teach the public? Why doesn’t the government pay it for us? Why don’t we charge those who make a profit out of the public needs more to cover the cost of this?

It makes sense to me anyway. Thoughts anyone?

Season's Greetings

I just wanted to take an opportunity to wish everyone well over the festive period. I’m sure we will all celebrate differently. I don’t have anything overly exciting planned… Xmas eve in the pub with my parents (some quality parent time and drunkenness), a lie in for me on Xmas day while my parents go out to drop off presents, then to my twin sister’s house to join her family for Xmas dinner, followed by too much wine. Boxing day the usual (dreaded) big gathering at my parent’s house for meat and mash, oh and maybe more wine (I’ll need it). Don’t get me wrong I love my family, just not all of them at once. There are a lot of us, I have a twin, a brother, a half brother, a half sister and two step sisters, most of them have children. This year my aim is to be patient and cheerful as I was ill the last two years (not with a hangover).

I’m not expecting any big presents, or anything too extravagant, money is tight for everyone this year, and I do believe it is the thought that counts. A few of my female relatives and friends all agreed to not buy for each other this year, instead we have booked an afternoon in the hammam at the local spa at the end of January.

I don’t feel overly festive, but I am excited it will be a fun few days and I’m seeing friends for drinks in the days that follow, which will be great. So, to try to feel more in the mood for the season I am going to list a few things I do like about the festive season, feel free to join in in the comments…

- Giving presents! The best bit in my opinion. Seeing people’s faces when you get it right is the best (I’m usually quite good at it too).

- Food! Mm pate, cheese with cranberries in, all of Xmas dinner, chocolates, nuts this list could be very very long.

- Fine wine and my newly acquired taste for port.

- Cheesy films. I don’t often admit it but I love some of them, although I wouldn’t buy many of them I will watch them on TV.

- Friends – Of course I have them all year round, but we all have busy lives, many of them have children. This time of year I like that we make extra effort to spend some time together. It is always lovely to catch up.

- Xmas Eve – I love my tradition of spending it with my parents. We go to the pub we drink, we chat and we usually get the giggles. It is my quality time with my parents without the rest of my huge family (they all spend it frantically still wrapping presents for their children or drunk with friends). I like that at around midnight (maybe 1am) we get all sentimental, it is my mushy moment of the year.

None of the above are overly exciting, but they give me a warm fuzzy feeling. I’m am now full of festive spirit. Let me know if you have any more favourite Xmas things (perhaps more interesting than mine).

What ever you are doing, have a lovely time. x

Hidden Agenda

I am really not sure where I am going with this one yet, but it has played on my mind lately, so I thought I’d have a written ramble and see what happens. I think I have been somewhat naive over the last few months, assuming that many of the people I have met have a similar agenda to my own. It can often not be the case. I’m not saying it is a bad thing, it isn’t always, they have a right to have their own expectations when meeting new people. But in thinking about it I realise that in my opinion we all have hidden agendas a lot of the time.

Not many people in many situations do things for totally altruistic reasons. Most of the time we all want something in return. This is often our agenda, it is not always hidden, it can be explicit. We can all be nice to our boss, not only because we try to be a nice person, but because we know it may help our careers to do so.

I am as guilty as the next person of having an agenda when I meet people, obviously it depends on the person. I often want to feel “part of the crowd” to belong to a group of people, this has often happened when meeting people from twitter or other forums, and I think it is fine to do so. Thankfully, my agenda quickly changes when I get to know someone to either want to be friends or remain online acquaintances. You can’t get on with or close to everyone.

Do we ever meet people with friendship as our one and only agenda? Is it to not be alone at a gig, or to not feel left out, or even just to say hello to someone with a common interest? I’m not sure I have high enough expectations to consider that I would become good friends with all of the people I have met. I have and will continue to meet people, but I want to consider why I am meeting people and be honest about it. Sometimes it is just plain intrigue, I want to know if they are the same in real life as they are online?

I have learned lessons in meeting so many people, not everyone really wants to meet, they may say they do online, but shyness or even that they were being polite online may mean they have a different agenda in real life. A quick hello and then move on can occur if this is the case. The one thing that does annoy me is if people only want to meet or say hello on numerous occasions to just not be alone, or to gain something… surely repeated meetings should lead to friendship unless the agenda is explicit? For example, I don’t mind meeting fellow psychiatric nurses repeatedly as we all know we are meeting to share information and ask questions to improve our work; thankfully over the last few years I have become friends with some of them too, an added bonus to necessary meetings. It can be difficult to tell is if your agenda is to be friends and theirs is to have company, it can lead to disappointment or dissatisfaction at such meetings when such a difference is realised or you don’t get what you want from the chat.

I think I have found that I can tell who is properly friendly, when conversation flows (after some shyness) and it is not only about the common interest that brought us together, but it is also on a more personal nature. To not only chat about gigs and speakers, but how we are and what is happening in our lives, there is a line that has to be crossed if you are to become friends. I don’t mind if it is not always crossed, it certainly shouldn’t always be crossed. I just seem to have become more aware of it now.

I’m happy to have a large group of people I see at gigs and talks that I can say hello to and have some company, and we can have a lovely chat about what we have seen or are about to see. And that is that. But the best benefit to meeting so many people in the last couple of years, is meeting those people that are friends, that I care about on some level (we may not be best buddies) but those people who I know not only want to see a gig/talk and have some company but that are equally as happy to see me as I am to see them. To have a chat and a catch up.

I must admit it has disappointed me more and more when I haven’t had much time for this. For example at TAM (The Amazing Meeting) I met some lovely people, but unfortunately didn’t get much time to chat. It was not just about the meeting and the speakers, but about getting to know people I had looked forward to meeting.

Of course the exception to this “rule” is meeting comedians or speakers, I am not naive enough to expect to become friends with them. That is an unrealistic expectation, of course it may happen very rarely but imagine if an act was aiming to be friends with everyone they met? Ludicrous isn’t it? I am grateful and do enjoy saying hello to a performer, but it is just to say hello and that I admire their work or get something signed. They already have friends, they don’t necessarily want more from an audience. I try to aim to not be stalkery, say hello and then let them relax with people they actually know. I have seen acts constantly harassed following a gig, I know it can be part of the job, but we could all remember that once the hellos are done, it is their time, not ours to continually interrupt, they entertained us on stage, their job is done. *steps off soap box* I know there are exceptions to this, as there are to all situations.

I have been to some great gigs lately and they are always made much better in my opinion when there is chatting time before and after. I enjoy the time I spend with people as much as I do the shows. Except of course if I am only meeting someone to have some company, then the gig and a quick post gig chat is all is needed, that is fine. Should we be honest about our agendas? Should we assume they are implied by how chatty we are or are not? Do people think about their agendas when meeting others?

Thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks for reading.

ALL DAY EDNIBURGH 2010

I’m not really sure where to begin in describing this amazing event, so I’ll begin with a big thanks to Michael Legge (@michaellegge) for organising it, and to all of the other people involved behind the scenes. All Day Edinburgh (@AllDayEdinburgh) was a 7 hour (more like 8 hours on the day) comedy gig which aimed to give people a taste of numerous acts who performed (or didn’t) at the Edinburgh fringe festival this year, all in aid of the charity Shelter.

I don’t often blog about shows/gigs because I have an appalling memory for such things, but through friends and tweets I think I can give a pretty good account of how it went. I will include some tweets sent at the time to give those that follow me on twitter more understanding of what really happened. Some descriptions of acts may be brief in order to avoid spoilers for future shows (or more likely because my memory is rubbish). Then you will all see how amazing it was and join me in hoping for another event next year.

It was held at The Phoenix on Cavendish Square in London, a regular host of comedy including Los Quattros Cvnts and London Comedy Improv (@LondonImprov). The pub has had a recent makeover and was an ideal place to hold the intimate marathon of comedy. The audience were eager to begin at just before 2pm, with some tech issues being resolved as they waited it started not long after…

On my way to the venue at around lunchtime I read the following tweet…

“michaellegge: I hate the homeless, all venues, comedians, comedy fans and the cold hollow sound of laughter.”

 

Our esteemed host Michael Legge welcomed us to the event and explained how he hated everyone (I think he was a little bit stressed), there is nothing more funny than Michael having a rant, and planning this event provided him with good ammunition. A delightful introduction to the day, taken in the spirit of humour it was meant.

First up was Nick Helm, an act I had not had chance to see in Edinburgh this year. With his gruff voice he warmed up the audience well with his loud and shouty explanations of why he *loves being single (*this may have been a little sarcastic) interspersed with a couple of very funny songs, which we were encouraged to join in with and a some audience interaction involving fruit tins connected with a piece of string. He is certainly an act I won’t hesitate to see again.

Next up were An Hour of Telly Live, I’d heard a lot about Margaret Cabourn Smith (@MCabournSmith) and Zoe Gardner’s show but had not managed to fit them into my hectic Edinburgh schedule. They lived up to those expectations, showing us their versions of adverts (“it’s a tiny yoghurt”) the way they should be done and practicing well known acting techniques such as the use of “barbed comments”. “Your teeth are cunts!” still makes me giggle now. Their set ended with a West End themed sketch which was not only funny but revealed the power in Margaret’s brilliant voice.

The pace continued with Caroline Mabey (@mabeycakes) with her breakfast themed set, complete with various charts and skilled visual representations of the evilness of the meal. A unique delivery which was quirky and fun.

Following a brief interval we were treated to a brief version of Pointless Anger, Righteous Ire with the angry Michael Legge and Robin Ince. I saw this show twice in Edinburgh, no rant can ever be the same. They did not disappoint, *discussing sketch groups, small children and much more briefly than planned the (well known anger fuse) Daily Mail (*shouted furiously to each other and the audience).

“nwoolhouseuk: Michael Legge and Robin Ince have just been very very angry. #ADE (I hurt from laughing)”

I really hope to see more Pointless Anger, Righteous Ire in the future.

Sara Pascoe (@sarapascoe) was up next, and although she did not perform her Edinburgh material, she did not disappoint. “Penis enlargement spam” we were bluntly told was the topic for the set, ending in Sara showing us her own version of graphic novel porn. I belly laughed throughout. (I won’t give too much away as it is new material, so she will be using it).

The Trap are made up of Jeremy Limb (@jeremylimb), Dan Mersh (@danmersh) and Paul Litchfield (@MrPLitchfield) when you add Michael Legge to that mix, they make up Los Quattros Cvnts who perform (almost) monthly at The Phoenix. On this occasion we were treated to some material from The Trap, even though they have not been to Edinburgh for a number of years now. It was great to see some of their original material including the Alphabet Sketch, but the highlight of their set was The Palindromic Sketch blew me away, with all of the audience lulled into a false sense of disappointment as the two Neville’s performed outdated gags but then they really turn it around literally, doing it backwards and show the sketch for it’s true genius.

Matt Ricardo was up next, and even though he forgot his balls and had to use apples (I know), he certainly demonstrated his juggling skills and technique. His banter with the crowd making up for any moments of error, ending with a rather spectacular display using cigar boxes, a comedy cigar and some “wine”.

I forget where the intervals were, but there were many, and between acts Michael continued to keep the energy in the room, even providing a prized bag of King of Everything badges for the raffle, which were gently being “warmed” in his trouser pocket for the lucky winner. Other prizes were donated by Adult Swim.

Even though they had there own show to perform later in the day, we were lucky enough to be visited by The Horne Section. Alex Horne (@AlexHorne) is obviously the front man with 4 musicians, much of the short set being the introductions of his band and banter with the front row resulting in some hilarious improvisation of Bon Jovi songs. The set ended with The Horne Section’s dance to Beyonce’s Single Ladies.

*Clears throat* I really like Pappys (@pappystweet) and have seen them several times… this time was not the same. Tom struggle to even find his way on stage and then chaos. It was funny chaos but for some reason they were unable to actually start their sketches, with Tom explaining the back stories while Matthew and Ben giggled and called each other names (sex addict) or told him to stop, with many tangents (Dogtanian being one) they finally performed the Musketeers sketch, all 1 minute of it! They managed to do the Working Lunch sketch with much less, but still some “explaining” from Tom and then finally ending on a song about modern electronic technology.

“Pappystweet: RT @nwoolhouseuk The oddest @Pappystweet gig I’ve ever seen. #ADE (one of the oddest we’ve ever done #breakdown)”

One of the big surprises of the day was a performance from Chris Addison (@chrisaddison) who I had never seen live before. He was much more energetic and passionate than I had previously though, with a hilarious set about what “writes off” people in his eyes (I agree with him on all counts) including (of course) The Daily Mail, a certain type of footwear and some commonly used sayings. Followed with an eloquent and amusing anecdote about his home life, I was pleased to have finally seen him and am already planning to see him perform again.

Storytellers was on before the next interval, introduced by Sarah Bennetto with her own anecdote involving an ex boyfriend, some spiderman pants and a box, despite the next story teller, waiting in the wings being her current boyfriend James Dadswell. James did something great with his time and told the story of when his material was stolen by a well known comedian, there was solidarity in the room with so many acts in the audience. (Later Paul Sinha even mentioned it in his blog). The final teller of tales was John Luke Roberts who kept it light hearted with short tales.

Dan Antopolski (@DanAntopolski) jovially talked us through his family’s genetic contribution to the human race, complete with pop up visuals. And then rapped about the delights of owning a domestic lazer (we all want one now).

I saw Colin Hoult’s (@wheeliemancrow) amazing show in Edinburgh, for this set we saw one of his many characters, Andy Parker from Nottingham, he does stuff in Nottingham since he left the army, like drawing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and writing screenplays, which have to be heard to be believed (“Giggle giggle, giggle giggle”). His accent is spot on, as are his mannerisms for the character. I can’t give lots away as the show still has a run in February in London, which I urge you to see (tickets). He has a great talent for chatting to the audience in character during his shows and it was a little bit cold in the room for Andy/Colin’s attire, a fact which he commented on much to our amusement.

Although, it was a very long day, and this blog is also really long, the time flew buy with such great entertainment. Next up was Paul Sinha (@paulsinha) with his anecdotes of debating with the BNP on the radio and a cockney rhyming slang racist insult at a train station toilet. A tight set with lots of laughs from the audience.

Tony Law (@mrtonylaw) was new to me, and quite an experience, starting with googly eyes and persisting to enjoy himself as he told us about animal sounds and revolutions. I have no idea how to explain it, you definitely had to be there, and I’m glad I was.

Tara Flynn (@TaraFlynn) delighted the audience with 4 of her songs from her Edinburgh show Big Noise. I was very grateful to get a chance to see it again (Confession – I did see it in Edinburgh, but that day unfortunately learned that too much afternoon drinking and a hot room make for poor concentration, and embarrassingly had to break out the energy drink, naughty naughty me, and such a shame to not give it my all – please learn from my stupid mistake). We saw Bjork Song, The Fog, 80s and Custard, with Tara showing her diverse styles of music, dance moves and comedy talent throughout. Loved every moment.

Paul Litchfield who performed earlier in the day in The Trap, spoiled us with a performance of one of the characters from Los Quattros Cvnts, the author of a fusion of sci-fi and erotica, Sean Golsworthy. It never ceases to make me giggle in such an immature way as he reads the tales of sex robots. Go and see Los Quattros Cvnts at The Phoenix!

“MCabournSmith: My favourite part of #ADE was when Sting turned up. (@mrjimBob)”

We were nearing the end of #ADE but the quality never dropped with an awesome performance from Jim Bob (@mrjimBob) formerly of Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine fame. He was a little green around the gills having been thrown a surprise birthday party the night before, but as a true performer went on to impress the audience with Mrs Fucking MacMurphy, The Wheels on The Bus and the Carter USM song The Only Living Boy in New Cross.

“Kateweb: My favourite moment of #ADE was watching @turlygod and @michaellegge waltz to @mrjimBob’s Mrs Fucking MacMurphy. Lovely day – well done all.”

The yelps of excitement from “back stage” (behind a screen) revealed that Mr Legge was rather excited to see this particular performer, as did the above mentioned dancing. Much of the audience joined in singing the songs. A joy to see and one I will repeat on Wednesday when I go to see #Guttedfest with Jim Bob and The Mystery Fax Machine Orchestra (details).

“nwoolhouseuk: The Penny Dreadfuls headlining this shit (their words not mine) #ADE”

I did see The Penny Dreadfuls (@dreadfuls) and was happy to see their sketches again, the creepy guy sketch is not one I recall from Edinburgh, made even more repulsive by the chewing of some newspaper balls which has been where the sun don’t shine. the sketch was giggly and a lot longer than anyone (including Penny Dreadfuls) thought it would be. Following this was the Sea skipper sketch and then the Twilight parody, again I cannot give it all away or it spoils it for others. I’ll just say they kept a now weary and a little bit drunk crowd still giggling.

A well deserved standing ovation was given to the embarrassed Michael Legge for his brilliant MCing and organisation of the event. Drinks, hellos and goodbyes followed (yes, more booze).

I suggest you follow @AllDayEdinburgh on twitter and hope that we are lucky enough (or that Michael forgets this year’s breakdown) to have another one next year.

(please feel free to tell me if any of this is wrong/spoilery too much/needs editing – as I said my memory is not great. Oh, and sorry for the crap quality photos, they are from my phone.)

Manners (Rant)

Today I feel ranty. What happened to people having manners? Yes, someone was rude to me today. Usually this does not bother me, but today it did. I won’t go into what exactly happened but it did get me thinking, so here we go with a ramble as my thoughts spill out.

In my job as a mental health nurse I do expect some rudeness, let’s face it many people who are acutely unwell with mental health problems are frightened or angry, they often don’t have the capacity for manners. This I can understand, it is not their fault, they are reacting to an extreme situation. Many do have manners, lots of patients say please and thank you, ring me to ask for favours and are generally pleasant to talk to. If I can I oblige, it is my job to accommodate when I can, and understand the difficulties people may face, and of course to listen. Sometimes I can say to someone “Don’t speak to me in that way” or even just “Say please” when it is appropriate. Mental health problems are not necessarily an excuse for bad manners. What I don’t understand is when people do have the capacity to be polite, I do help them and they are still rude to me. This can be patients, relatives or colleagues, over the years they have all to some extent irritated me in this way (thankfully not too often).

This has raised the question, is there some sort of scale between duty of care and desire for good manners (or just lack of rudeness)? I sort of know there is, I can’t expect someone who is really unwell to be polite all the time, that is elitist, there should not be an “us and them” culture between nurses and patients, there just needs to be understanding when appropriate. However, when someone is able to understand the consequences of their actions or behaviours then I and many ward areas do not tolerate abuse. And in my opinion, rightly so. After all I go to work to care for people not to face abuse or intimidation. I have unfortunately seen cases of verbal and physical abuse at work, sometimes the hard line is taken and patients are discharged or the police are called. Of course there has to be some weighing up of the risk to fellow inpatients and staff, and the risk to the patient in question if they are discharged. I can see how the police can struggle to take criminal charges to the extent they should, when many people within the legal system do not appear to understand when mental health problems do and do not impact on such decisions to be abusive. See, there are lines which should not be crossed but it is complicated. The same goes in dealing with patient’s relatives, I have to put myself in their place, how angry would I be? What is reasonable behaviour?

With colleagues it is a different matter, in general abuse is not tolerated. This doesn’t mean it is always reported. It is such serious action to take, a formal process (one which I have some experience of). It is not for the occasions when people are just rude, it is for the extreme. So how do we tackle general lack of manners? A simple example is that I run clinics, within which I schedule 1 hour for lunch, this is never an hour long break, NEVER (to be fair it should only be half an hour). Usually, a few morning patients are late, I have urgent phone calls to make, notes to catch up on and people who did not attend to contact, then the morning patients arrive early. The result is I often have 5 minutes for lunch in a very long and busy day. Again, I try to be understanding, there are problems with buses, some people think it helps to be early rather than late, some don’t mind waiting a few minutes (I do keep in mind that many of our patients are anxious about the appointment and the needle). It is when people are rude and demanding in such situations and think I am not entitled to my break, especially if colleagues do it. I addressed this with some staff who bring patients recently, thankfully they were understanding and didn’t realise how busy things can be (only seeing their part of the picture… amazing how often people do that isn’t it?). See, it is the small things that matter in such cases, a phone call to say you will be early or late, then you would be told what time afternoon clinic starts or when there are appointments free, and I get a 10 minute break… simple manners and we are all happier. Unfortunately not all of my patients who attend alone are able to have such forward thinking, so I still don’t get much of a break, this I don’t mind so much. (The above is not what happened today to annoy me, it was another matter entirely). This is just an example of when manners could help.

So when should I look after my own welfare? To have a break, some food, a drink (a wee)? To not be offended, shouted at? Or even to just be spoken to with some respect? (of course I demand I should not suffer any physical abuse, and would do all I could to prevent such situations and deal with them appropriately). But how much can people get away with? Where is the line? People are complicated. Mental health problems are complicated, as are their families and carers. Politics within teams and between teams of colleagues are also complex, when should we not ‘rock the boat’ or when should we ‘fight our corner’? The answer is, I don’t know. Today I was busy, felt stressed and did my best, I did not feel like my needs were being met to have some of the above privileges (are they privileges or rights?). But once the hectic day was over and I had chance to talk to colleagues I gained more understanding of the situation and felt a bit calmer about the whole thing, I gained some perspective. Sometimes you need time to do so before you react (I did keep my nerve at the time and remained polite).

So, please make an effort to be polite to people who help you in any way. In fact people in general. I don’t mean just nurses, but people who work in shops or restaurants, delivery men, anyone… my point is, please remember if they are helping you, they probably have helped a lot of other people that day, not all of them may have been nice to them. A please or thank you and a smile goes a long way, whether you feel like it or not it may be needed and appreciated.

Thanks for reading, any feedback is always appreciated either here or on twitter.

Mental Health Nursing - my ramble/perspective.

I admit it, I miss blogging, I like writing. This week I was struggling to think of a topic to ramble about so I asked on twitter, a couple of people said my job. But I don’t want to come across as pretentious, as I chose my career with its ups and downs, and I’m sure there are a lot of easier and harder jobs than mine, I am not looking for extra thanks or praise in any way for what I do. Oh, and if you didn’t know I am a mental health nurse.

I do feel the need after reading that last paragraph back to point out that “we” (meaning mental health nurses in general) don’t actually get as much thanks as you may expect. I see it all the time on general medical wards. But I understand that we are not always liked by our patients (especially those detained under the Mental Health Act meaning we restrict their activities) and often there is a huge sense of relief for people when they leave a mental health ward, they are not very happy places to be (I am aware hospital isn’t in general but you know what I mean here I’m sure). I assume (possibly wrongly, feel free to correct me) that it may also be due to the fact that hospital is a tiny part of the journey, people don’t usually leave “cured” there is a long way to go, sometimes they still do not have insight as to why the hospital stay was so necessary. Of course there are people who make remarkable steps whilst in hospital, and are often very grateful for the help they received, I thank those people (as I say, we don’t get it very often). Now I work in clinics (currently Clozapine and ECT) so I am a tiny part of people’s journey through mental health services. My team does get a few Xmas cards from patients, but we are a small piece of a big puzzle; our thanks is seeing people well and not in hospital anymore.

[Sorry for that digression but i had to get it off my chest]

As I pointed out at the beginning I am not meaning to be pretentious in any way. I know that even within mental health nursing people deal with the job in different ways. I must admit I have become a lot more cynical in the last 7 years, I try to make sure this doesn’t make me any less caring or empathetic with my patients. Unfortunately I have seen some nurses “burn out” in that way over the years. I personally believe this may be because some people just don’t switch off. I’m not saying it is always easy, but as in many jobs there needs to be a work-life balance. It saddens me to see some people who need the money working extra hours all the time and not truly switching off from the day’s events. I used to be guilty of it, often ringing work when I got home to tell them something I had forgot but thought it was important (it usually wasn’t and could have waited until the next day when I got back) or to check on a patient. I have been qualified long enough now to have a bit of a thicker skin. Oddly, I feel guilty about this sometimes. But it is needed, work has to stay at work. I have to try to remain detached from my patients (to a certain extent), even though I have known some of them for a few years. I have learnt to deal with this by trying to care about the job as a whole, rather than individuals. I have standards I work to, where patient care comes first and I try to change how I and my colleagues do things for the better. You can make changes within the healthcare system for the better, it is about sharing good practice and listening to patients (while understanding the budgetary constraints).

I guess this blog should be more light hearted than this. What do you want to know about mental health nursing? I will go through the top questions I am usually asked.

1. Is it a scary job?

- The short answer is most of the time, no. I’m not saying there aren’t scary moments on the wards, there are sometimes. But with the right training, a good team and adrenaline kicking in those moments usually pass without too much trauma. I can think of maybe a handful of times when I have felt really intimidated by a patient. I have never been seriously hurt at work, and injuries during restraint are rare for both patient and staff. Part of it, (for me) is that you have to build your own persona, my work persona is much braver than I am in the street and more assertive. At the end of the day, you are a part of a team. If a team works well together you can deal with anything. It does not “kick off” every day, there are really boring shifts like in any job, where nothing seems to happen.

2. What are patients like?

They are mostly like your friends and family, nice people who have become unwell. Just because someone has a mental health problem it does not mean their personality vanishes. Yes, when people are psychotic it can be hard to recognise the person you may have known before, but you have to remember that they are still in there. I laugh and joke with patients if I know them well enough. It depends how unwell they are, there are patients who you have to build trust with or may have thought disorder which makes conversation difficult. It doesn’t mean we don’t try. Every patient is different. It depends on which kind of mental illness they have, how ill they are and their underlying personality. You have to listen to what they want/need, whether it is to talk or be left alone, it is all about balance between what they want and what they need. Yes, there is sometimes odd behaviour, but there is also a lot of “normal” behaviour on a psychiatric ward, watching TV, playing games, having a chat. You can’t see everyone’s mental health problem from afar.

3. Are you psychoanalysing me?

NO! Firstly, I have not trained in psychoanalysis. Secondly, I am not a mind reader (psychics do not exist). I don’t want to know about all of your troubles (unless I ask, or you are my friend, even then sometimes I don’t want to know). It is my job to care for people, not my mission in life to care for everyone I meet. Just as a doctor at a party does not want to hear every medical complaint in the room, I don’t want to find out how scary you all are (joke). In reality, training to be a mental health nurse may make you more observant of behaviours, give you some insight into common behaviours and hopefully make you an empathetic listener. It does not make you everyone’s counsellor. Of course I talk to friends who have problems, they just need to realise I don’t have all the answers. It is much harder to offer that kind of advice to someone you know than to a stranger. Objectivity is often needed, this is difficult to achieve with people you feel close to.

Anymore questions?