More than words

I know this is not a new topic, and there have been many blogs about it, but it is my turn now. Language is the issue, in particular swearing. The reason why I want to delve into this topic is that in discussing the issue a little on twitter I have realised my views have changed in the last few months.

I think it is interesting that language is constantly changing and evolving. Words which used to be offensive can become commonplace and lose their sting once accepted into popular culture. I’m sure if we were to time travel back a few years, even as few as 10-20 we would see the different reaction to words commonly used now. Is it just that they are more common which makes them accepted or does their meaning change?

“Fuck” is a very commonly used word, and although I don’t think I would like to hear my children saying it (if I had any) I do not find it offensive at all. But it is a complicated word, in that it has many meanings. It means sex, but it doesn’t always, if I tell you to fuck off, I am not saying “Sex off!” am I, no it doesn’t make sense, neither does “I don’t give a fuck!” It can be a word meaning pleasurable or violent, physical activity. To fuck can be to manipulate or mess with someone’s mind, to push someone’s buttons, so routed in sexual terminology its meaning morphs into something much more negative and abusive that just sex. It is a complex word when you think of it in such terms, yet many of us use it every day. I wonder if we forget the meaning as the slang use of it takes over? It is not pleasant to be told to “fuck off!” if meant in a negative way, but it can also be used to make light of situations, for example when you tell an anecdote and someone says “fuck off, you’re kidding me?”; no offence meant and I’m sure for most people, none taken.

Side note – for a wonderful discussion about “Mindfucking” including the terminology and its connotations I recommend Mindfucking by Colin McGinn.

Personally I have begun to use swear words more frequently, although I do have to be careful at work as it would be unprofessional of me to use such terms. I don’t think it is on purpose, nor was it a particularly conscious decision, but I have explored a lot of new comedy in the last 12 months and I think perhaps their use of the full extent of the English language has rubbed off a little. I like that in comedy language I would have considered rude or offensive now makes me laugh, yes, occasionally they do evoke a different emotion, but that is because that is what the comedian wants them to do. The reaction required is why such words are used, I am not offended by this, and I see that there is a greater scheme at work, a plot to the story or set the offence is required to make the point. It is only when comedians are offensive for the sake of offending that I object, not only that I would not find it funny in the slightest (Jim Davison and Chubby Brown spring to mind).

Many comedians explore their use of such words and how the reactions vary in different countries. I find such variety in the perceived offensiveness of words to be even more prolific, and I am unable to generalise the reaction. My brothers and sisters use “fuck” in every day conversation, but in general would never use “cunt” as it is a word which my Mum did not like as we grew up. She even said “See (C) you (U) next (N) Tuesday (T)” to avoid actually saying the word. But, oh how things change. I talk to my Mum quite a lot and I tell her about the comedy I see and the podcasts, this means inevitably I have used the word cunt quite a bit (as listeners to Michael Legge and James Hingley’s Precious Little podcast will know). I must admit when I first said it to her in conversation I half whispered it, hesitating to give it the full power of correct pronunciation. However, once I explained the silly fun I had been having it seemed less offensive, there was no malice in how I was using it, or in my relaying the tale to my Mum. The cunt word has lost some of its power. I do believe that if someone called me a cunt, and meant it to be offensive, I would be rather upset. But is it the actual word that gives us this reaction? To me it no longer is; it is the intension behind the word, the emotion with which it is said. Consider if someone called you a cow or a bitch, they are both words for female animals one bovine one canine; however with the correct tone and malice offence would be taken in the way it was meant to be.

It seems to me that the some words can lose their meaning or gain it depending on the context and familiarity in which they are used. Text speak (which I despise) is another way in which words can lose their meaning, again a much discussed topic. “LOL” and “hahaha” no longer mean what they were intended to, people use them in such a common way that no one actually believes someone did laugh out loud. I have typed “LOL, really I did” but in thinking about it this negates the need for text speak, I could have typed “Very funny” thus using less letters to explain my emotion. Is it not the purpose of text speak to use less letters? Well, it was, this is how text speak came about, but again its common use has led to it’s over use and changed the way in which it is used. LOL or hahaha now means some form of mild amusement; it has lost its funny as the cunt word has lost its offensiveness. I could go on to discuss text speak for some time, but I won’t as many people have done so much more eloquently than I can and it is my perception of offensive language that has changed more considerably in the last few months.

I am intrigued by the way my emotional response to language has developed and changed, yet I know that some people still cannot and don’t use such words. It has become so second nature to me that I must be unintentionally offending people all the time? Is that an issue? Should it be? I don’t use the words with malice, or at people who do not realise I am joking or having fun, is it their understanding of the word that is the problem? I wonder if they have actually sat and thought about it or just heard one word and made assumptions about the context in which it was said. I was one of those people at some point, but now I have learned that any word can be offensive or inoffensive depending on the emotional context in which it is used. I do not encourage people to go out and try to offend people for the sake of it, but I do encourage them to not shy away from using words until you have thought about why you do or don’t use them.